Author: York University
Author Contact: yorku.ca
Published: 15th Feb 2023
Peer-Reviewed Publication: Yes
Additional References: Love and Romance Publications
Summary: While many people endorse spontaneous sex, there was no difference in their reported satisfaction with their last actual sexual encounter - whether planned or unplanned.
Is Spontaneous Sex Ideal? Beliefs and Perceptions of Spontaneous and Planned Sex and Sexual Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships - York University
The idea that spur-of-the-moment sex is the most passionate and satisfying is a deeply ingrained one in popular Western imagination, but new research from York University calls this into question. In their latest study, psychology researchers from the Faculty of Health found that planning ahead can be just as sexy as sex that 'just happens.'
"There can be a lot of resistance to asking clients to talk about and plan sex more, to work as a sexual team. I think it's because of what we see in the media, but the funny thing about that is there's so much planning that goes into those scenes - a whole production team is there, actors memorize their lines," says Katarina Kovacevic, a registered psychotherapist specializing in romantic relationships and sexual issues, and PhD student at York's Sexual Health and Relationship Laboratory.
"What our new study found was that while many people do endorse the ideal of spontaneous sex, there was no difference in their reported satisfaction of their last actual sexual encounter - whether it was planned or unplanned."
For this research, published today in the Journal of Sex Research, two studies were conducted by Kovacevic, her supervisor, York University Psychology Professor Amy Muise, and their collaborators.
The first looked at more than 300 individuals in romantic relationships and asked them questions via an online survey.
The second, had more than a hundred couples respond to daily surveys about their romantic and sex lives for three weeks.
In both cases, they wanted to look at people's beliefs about planned versus spontaneous sex, but also if these beliefs would translate into satisfaction with actual sexual encounters.
In the first part of the study, they did find that endorsing the idea of spontaneous sex being better, did correlate with reported satisfaction. While in the second study, when looking at participants' last sexual encounter, they found there was no difference in how satisfying a sexual encounter was reported to be - based on whether it was planned or happened spontaneously - regardless of people's beliefs.
"Generally, we did find that people endorsed the spontaneous sex ideal," says Muise. "But, despite these beliefs, across our two studies we did not find strong support that people actually experience spontaneous sex as more satisfying than planned sex."
Kovacevic says when therapists like herself talk about planned sex, they don't necessarily mean scheduling it, and while planning sex may seem like a chore to some, anticipation can also sometimes lead to desire.
"When we suggest that couples or other romantic configurations carve out that time, we're not necessarily saying you put it into a calendar - like 7 p.m. on a Tuesday, after putting dinner in the oven and before folding the socks," she says. "But the intentionality behind it can be transformative in the sense that we don't wait around for the right moment, because sometimes the mood just never strikes, really, for some people, and that might deter them."
Additionally, Muise and Kovacevic remind us of how much planning goes into the important and enjoyable aspects of our lives, like going on vacation or pursuing a rewarding career, and that there is no reason sex cannot be the same. Since sex is important to many people, and has many health and relationship benefits, it makes sense to prioritize and approach sex in the same way.
Some folks might want to plan for sex ahead of time, but the key is "intention, versus expectation." Kovacevic says expectations for sex during holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays can lead to folks feeling pressure. Instead, she recommends that romantic partners plan to regularly spend quality time together, without distractions, to keep the spark alive. If you are planning to have sex this Valentine's Day, Muise says to "try to have it before the big meal and glasses of wine."
Is Spontaneous Sex Better Than Planned Sex? | York University (yorku.ca). SexualDiversity.org makes no warranties or representations in connection therewith. Content may have been edited for style, clarity or length.
Post to Twitter Add to Facebook
Latest Love and Romance Publications | |
---|---|
The above information is from our reference library of resources relating to Love and Romance that includes: | |
I'm a Bisexual Drag Artist Who is About to be a Biological Dad As an openly bi person, having a child of my own was always a dream. For me to think of it was a rollercoaster of emotions. Publish Date: 28th Apr 2023 | |
Is Spontaneous Sex Better Than Planned Sex? While many people endorse spontaneous sex, there was no difference in their reported satisfaction with their last actual sexual encounter - whether planned or unplanned. Publish Date: 15th Feb 2023 | |
How to Show Your Children Love Relationships built on love, care, and mutual respect are essential for children to grow up feeling safe, healthy, and resilient. Publish Date: 11th Feb 2023 | |
How to Reduce Temptation to Cheat on a Partner People often cheat not because they planned it but because the opportunity presented itself, and they were too depleted, tired, drunk, or distracted to fight temptation. Publish Date: 31st Jan 2023 |
1How Many Genders Are There?
Alphabetical list of gender identities.
2Transgender Reporting Guide
How to write about transgender people.
3Glossary of Sexuality Terms
Definitions of sexual terms & acronyms.
4Glossary of Sexual Identities
Definitions of gender related terms.
5Am I Gay? Questions to Ask
Think you may be gay or bisexual?
• Submissions: Send us your coming events and LGBTQ related news stories.
• Report Errors: Please report outdated or inaccurate information to us.
• (APA): York University. (2023, February 15). Is Spontaneous Sex Better Than Planned Sex?. SexualDiversity.org. Retrieved October 4, 2024 from www.sexualdiversity.org/sexuality/love/1147.php
• Permalink: <a href="https://www.sexualdiversity.org/sexuality/love/1147.php">Is Spontaneous Sex Better Than Planned Sex?</a>